Alanis Morissette: Ironic Song Lyrics
"Ironic" by Alanis Morissete
The lyrics for "Ironic" are partially re-printed here for your consideration.
An old man turned ninety-eightNot ironic. Bloody unlucky, but there's no irony. However, we'll grudgingly give this one a "Cosmic Irony" tag. This example explores the "double-whammy" effect of being both too old to really use the money effectively for his own pleasure or comfort, and then actually dying. Doesn't change anything, but we'll give her a couple of marks for that.
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your ChardonnayI have no idea where she was even going with this one. Would a white fly have not been ironic? Bizarre and absolutely not ironic. Can only assume she was in a rush to finish the song.
It's a death row pardon two minutes too lateNo irony here again. Not even going to give this one a "Cosmic Irony" tag because it's so banal.
It's like rain on your wedding dayWhat on earth? If she had said "in the desert, where it hasn't rained in 40 years" we might give it a "cosmic irony" tag, but even then - this is not ironic.
It's a free ride when you've already paidNope - this is just a pain in the arse.
It's the good advice that you just didn't takeOooh, totally non-specific. Can't even begin to rate this one...
Who would've thought ... it figuresExactly!! This pretty much sums up the reason she's got it all wrong, the apparent belief that irony is used to describe situations where you're "damned if you do, damned if you don't".
Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to flyJust a nasty coincidence. I don't even want to give this one a "cosmic irony" tag because it's so vacuous.
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids good-bye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
'Well isn't this nice...'
Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on youAh-hah! The nub of the matter. The confusion appears to be that this song should have actually been titled "Fate" - because that's what she's describing. And it's not a bad "poetic" description of fate, either, I quite like it. But it's not irony. It just isn't.
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face
It's a traffic jam when you're already latePisser. Not ironic.
It's a no-smoking sign on your cigarette breakHuh? Not ironic.
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knifeWhat? Where the hell would you find ten thousand spoons? OK, sorry, just being a dick there. Not ironic.
It's meeting the man of my dreamsOh dear God...I give up, I really do.
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic... don't you thinkNo.